Author: Kris Valdez

There comes a time when we will have trials. It’s not a case of if, but when. To state the obvious, trials are not fun. Trials are a road we all have to go down. My daughter came home from school on the day of her overnight birthday party in tears. We thought maybe it was because we were teasing her about the disaster area her room had become and her friends were arriving in less than an hour. I finally understood, in between her sobbing, that the boy she liked had told her he didn’t like her anymore. She’s not allowed to date until she’s 30, possibly 40, so the relationship wasn’t much more than texting and sitting next to each other on the bus, but she still felt deeply hurt when her feelings for him were no longer returned.

As a mama bear, I wanted to give this kid a talking to for emotionally injuring my daughter, but after many lessons learned in my life with broken hearts, I decided to quietly pray for my daughter and wisdom on how to come alongside her instead of coming alongside of this boy and giving him a piece of my mind.

An amazing thing happened when I started to silently pray for my daughter’s heart and held her in my arms; her crying slowed down and my husband took both of us in his arms for one big bear hug. I wanted my daughter to feel open to talking to us and be open to allowing us to help her when she’s hurting.

I’m not a fan of the Bible verse,“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV Well, I’m a fan of the second part, but not the first part. It hurt my soul to see my daughter with her first broken heart and I believe God hurts along with us since He loves us more than I love my kids. He also brings people to come along us bringing encouragement.

What I thought was horrible timing for my daughter to have her heart-broken, turned out to be perfect timing for what she needed. Her closest friends arrived for her sleepover birthday party and spoke words of encouragement to ease her hurt. They giggled and whispered late into the night to keep a smile on her face until we dropped the last friend off Saturday evening.

Even when we have hurt, God is by our side. Yes, we will have trouble in this world, but God provides comfort in many forms and for me, it came in the form of teenagers spending the night with our family. Do you have examples of God providing just what you needed, right when you needed it? Share it in the comments below so we can celebrate with you and be encouraged by God’s provision.

The boys of our family and myself went to the zoo this weekend. While we waited for the seal show to begin, we watched in amazement, along with those around us, how gracefully the seals moved through the water. This is exactly what a seal is made for, to glide through the water gracefully, quickly and with ease. This is how it should feel when we are using the talents God has blessed us with, it feels natural and looks effortless to others. Even though it’s what God has created us for however, sometimes fear keeps us from pursuing what God placed us on earth to do.

My confession…I have a fear of failure and success, which creates a dilemma on so many levels when using my talents. I worry if I fail at using my talents then people would make fun of me. If, I succeed, I could lose those around me. In the past, when I’ve won awards and achieved success beyond even my imagination, those closest to me didn’t support that success. I was, and in some ways, still placing my dreams at the foot of man rather than at the foot of the cross. I’m looking to please those around me and concerned about their thoughts rather than pursuing my calling to please God. I’m making excuses to please people, instead of coming up with a plan to achieve my dreams.

By putting excuses and people’s opinions in front of my calling and where God is leading me, I’ve allowed self imposed constraints to hold me back and question my calling. According to 1 Peter 4:10, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” (NIV) I realized I’m still accountable to the gifts and talents God has blessed me with and I’m free to pursue the dreams God has placed in my heart. I know I’m not bound by the laws of man, only by the calling of God. Are there self imposed limitations you’re putting on yourself instead of pursuing your calling? Share them in the comments below so we can encourage you in your journey.

Things coming out of my kids’ mouth makes me stop in my tracks. Mostly it’s the, “I love you so much, Mom,” stated matter of factly out of the blue or the awesome one-liners coming out of my five year old’s brain. Every once in awhile, these one liners make me stop in my tracks for all the wrong reasons.

My five year old is rocking his colors, numbers, and letters. School starts today and during our family camping trip last week, we were quizzing Gabriel on his colors for fun. We asked the color of cars and signs. As we’re getting ready for bed, we talk about our families’ hair and eye color. Dad has black hair and brown eyes, so do Gabriel’s brother and sister. When we asked his hair and eye color he said blonde and blue. Finally, it was time for him to answer my hair and eye color.

Thinking I would get the same answer he provided since I thought I also had blonde hair and blue eyes, I wasn’t paying close attention and continued getting him ready for bed. Imagine my surprise when his answer was, “Mom’s hair is gray and her eyes are red.”

I stop putting his feet in his hand-me-down pumpkin pajamas and stared at him. “Did you just say mom has gray hair and red eyes?” I inquired trying to keep the dejected tone for my voice. I must have been unsuccessful in my goal because my husband immediately asked my youngest to apologize. I told Gabriel there was no need to apologize, but my demeanor changed that night in camp. Obviously, my son had no idea his comments took me aback; he was only speaking his observations.

It had been a long week, so as I looked in the mirror I did was blood shot eyes and yes, there is a little more gray reflecting back then I had remembered. Those gray hairs and bloodshot eyes have been well earned, I told myself.

A large swath of my hair became gray after a night spent in the ER and subsequently the hospital, when my second child stopped breathing and the doctors couldn’t figure out why. Then there was the time my daughter was only thought to have strep throat and wound up in the hospital for four days while she received adult level antibiotics pumped into her system three times a day. Or there are the countless times my husband is gone on a fire or a car wreck for hours on end and I’m left at home not knowing how he or his crew is doing.

However, I reasoned with myself, there is a flip side. I want to start looking at my gray hair and bloodshot eyes and a positive light and even see them as a blessing. My red eyes met we had an amazing week of fun and long night making memories that will hopefully last a lifetime. It means I’ve lived an exciting, full life with the scars, gray hair, and bloodshot eyes to prove it. God also sees gray hair as a blessing. In Proverbs 16:31, “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.” NLT.

I’m not sure if I lived a godly life, I’ll leave that up to God, but I’ve decided to look at my gray hair as a “crown of glory,” rather than something to be covered up and hidden away. I plan to take what my youngest said about my hair color and eye color as a complement rather than insult. Is there anything in your life that you need to turn around to the positive instead of seeing it as a negative? Share in the comments to encourage others.

Epiphanies have been abounding for me these days. This past week I had the opportunity to go on a business trip to California. My meetings were held close enough to Yosemite National Park that I couldn’t pass up the chance to visit one of the national parks on my bucket list.

It’s an amazing national park with views and hiking trails to reach some of those views. One of the hikes our entire family did was to Vernal Falls. This hike is not for the faint of heart. Many people gave up before reaching the actual waterfall. I was almost one of those people.

Even though I run most days of the week, this trail was a tough uphill climb. Once our family reach the bridge that crosses the river created by the waterfall, we figured we’d reach the top, only to realize we were two-thirds of the way up to the viewing area. My kids, all three of them voted to quit. We were hot, tired, a little hungry and our Camelbacks were quickly running on empty, kind of like my quad muscles.

My husband suggested we sit in the shade, eat the granola bars and dried fruit in our packs while sipping on the last of our water. After taking the break, my husband encouraged us to go on with the hike. He asked me, “When will we ever be in this place again? Don’t you want to see this to the end?”

He isn’t one to request things after a family vote goes in one direction, which was to go back down, so we picked ourselves up, dusted off as much dirt as we could and continued our ascent.

Oh, there were times where I told myself I couldn’t do it. It would be easier to give up. If I’ve see one waterfall, I’ve seen them all, right? I realized when I round the corner of the last set of stone steps, all the excuses faded away and I marveled as the refreshingly cool spray of the waterfall hit my face when the wind blew in the right direction.

As I took in the sight of Vernal Falls, the calling I feel God has placed on my life became a metaphor for this hike. I’m struggling with what I believe God is calling me to do while still keeping my day job to pay the bills. The uphill portion of pursuing my calling is in my full force. My muscles are burning, breathing deeply is a challenge, and sweat from too much exertion is dripping down my back but when I’m working on what God has placed on my heart, I feel a sense of peace and satisfaction. Mostly, I feel alive. It’s as if my heart has been set free and my soul is being nourished. According to the Bible “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12 NLT

In contrast, when I’m making excuses or allowing fear to put aside my calling, I get discouraged, depressed even because I’m not doing what God created me to do. Is there something you believe God is calling you to do? Share it in the comments below so our community can encourage you!

Yes, I read the book, Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret. I’m probably showing my age, but at least I read it in the 5th grade and it’s a classic. I really don’t remember much about the book, (sorry Judy Blume) but I loved the title and sometimes, I do wonder where God is and when He’s going to show up in my latest crisis.

Last week, I wrote about unplugging from the world and plugging into God. But what happens if what we hear or what we thought we heard from God is wrong or didn’t turn out the way we thought it would? Hearing God’s still small voice in our heart is not an exact science. Oh, how I wish it was. What happens when we think we have heard from God and instead it goes in the opposite direction of what we thought we heard?

For me, it meant questioning everything I thought God was leading me to do this past week and the past few months. I struggle with wondering if I’m obeying God’s command. I don’t know if what I’m doing is really obeying or if I’m hearing His voice, but God knows my struggle. He knows I’m looking to please Him and trust in Him where I think He’s leading. Even if I don’t understand the outcome, but I’m stepping out in faith and I believe God honors this obedience.

Recently, I stepped out in faith, based on what I thought was God’s nudging. It didn’t turn out the way I thought it was going to and it threw me into a tailspin about if I was truly hearing from God. Did I need to do better with my quiet time with God? Study His Word more? Or was this an instance where God was going to use this to draw me closer to Him and His will for me through a disappointing outcome?

We are told in the Bible, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” Luke 16:10 NIV. I believe God asks us to follow him in obedience in the little things, so He can begin blessing us with the bigger things.

As I watch my children grow and mature, I give them more responsibility around the house. If the task I’ve given them turns into a disaster, it’s my job as a loving parent to stifle my tendency to freak out and gently correct them to do better next time or take a step back and start with smaller things again. The beauty of God is He doesn’t have to stifle a freak out moment because He has it under control. However, He wants us to grow closer and more dependent on Him.

Similar to how I see if my kids are ready to take on more, God does the same thing with us. Is there something God is calling you to step out and do? Share it in the comments below so I can pray for you!

It’s summer! Which means things are a little ‘lax around our house. But I hope everyone is having an amazing summer of camping, boating, swimming, grilling or hanging out with those you love. I know our family has taken advantage of these activities.

As I’ve mention if the past, we live in rural Colorado which allows us access to amazing camping in the backcountry where cellphone and Internet coverage doesn’t exist. There are days when I’m camping that I don’t even pick up my cellphone. On our most recent camping trip I lost my cellphone in my sleeping bag for two days and didn’t even miss it.

I relish this time because it allows me to unplug from the world and plug in with God. My camping trip came at a perfect time, since I had been angry all week about projects at work going sideways, my ex husband not communicating about our kiddos and a host of other small things which led me to blow up at my husband. Through no fault of his own, he was late picking me up after work. My car was still in the shop a week after the mechanic said it would be done. (FYI – I still don’t have my car back. Shipping parts takes a long time out here, but the scenery can’t be beat!)

My husband took the brunt of a really awful week that even included me raging at God in my journal and asking where he was in the mess of my life, most of which I created. God really had no obligation to show up and fix my mess. However, He showed up on Saturday morning, when I was up with the sun and the rest of my crew were still snoring away in their sleeping bags. As I journaled my frustrations to God, again, it was as if, He put a halt to my hurt and anger. There was a feeling of relief as I understood even though this mess was my making, God was willing to carry my burden. The Bible says, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:26‭-‬27 NIV.

This has been a verse repeated to me throughout my life. See, I’m a worrier and a fixer or problem solver. So many cautionary stories in the Bible stem from people not waiting on God, but trying to make things happen or fix situations in their own way. It always turns out bad, like impacting generations to come, bad.

I realized, the anger from last week was a result of doubting God had everything in control and that He heard my pleas for help. I wish I could say everything is great and God swooped in at the last minute and saved the day. Yes, sometimes that is how God works, but in my case, this appears to be a growth and trust opportunity program between me and God. He hasn’t stepped away, but He’s allowing me to pursue Him to trust Him more and myself less. Where are you at in developing your trust program with God?

For those of you not familiar with GPS, it’s an acronym for Global Positioning System. I am a human GPS. Not of directions because as my family will tell you, I’m sometimes directionally challenged in urban environments. I guess that’s what I get for living in the rural mountains of Colorado. I need large mountain ranges to find my way around.

The GPS I’m referring to is my kids’ stuff. The feature normally click on in the morning rush to get out the door when we’re running late and it sounds something like this,

“Mom, where’s my homework I was working on last night?” To which I respond, “Honey, it’s still sitting on the table after I asked you to put it in your backpack last night.”

“Mom, where are my tennis shoes? I need them for gym class today.” My GPS answer is, “Sitting on the rug in the front hall.” “But Mom, I already looked there. Hey, look, they are there. Never mind, Mom, I found them.”

“Mom, where’s my uniform for my race tonight? I can’t find it.” My comeback is, “It’s still in the dryer from when I washed it after your race last night.”

And the list goes on and on. I find it interesting that even when I’ve been on business trips, my kids will call to ask where things are – one time, my then four year old, asked me to help him find his sippy cup when I was calling to wish him a good morning before preschool. I guess it didn’t matter that I was in a hotel room 200 miles away.

It’s as if they assume their dad isn’t capable of locating stuff. This is in fact untrue. If my husband can find a stranded hunter in the Colorado backcountry and haul them out safely in a blinding snowstorm as part of a search and rescue, I’m pretty sure he can locate a track uniform in our daughter’s bedroom. Although, depending on the state of our daughter’s room, this could be more dangerous than a rescue in the wilderness.

I realize my kids trust that I know where something is and will get it to them or help them find it. What’s cool is that God is the ultimate GPS for our lives. Although instead of Global Positioning System, I like to think of it as our God Positioning System. He knows where everything is and He is our beacon of hope even for those of us with directional challenges.

When we position our lives inline with God’s Positioning System, we will find the best path to take, even if it’s unconventional or not what we were anticipating. According to Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” (NIV) God will always provide us the direction we need, if we ask, trust and wait on Him.

As I witnessed with my kids, when I don’t immediately provide an answer for locating missing stuff, they become frustrated and stressed. Oh, how, I see this same reaction in me when I’m pleading with God for an answer to prayer and I feel like He’s moving too slow. I doubt my prayers are being heard and I’m desperate for God to show up and provide the right way to go. When I slow down, take a breathe, and pull off the speedway of life, even for a few minutes to double check my direction with the heavenly GPS, things go smoother. I challenge you to consider pulling into one of life’s rest stops and checking in with God on your direction. Let me know what you find in the comments section below.

I try to feed my family nutritious food, but I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I fall short, very short. I was in the grocery store recently and we were buying items for my son’s birthday party. My youngest was turning five and what do all kids like at birthday parties? Everything that’s identified as being bad for us such as chocolate cake with whip cream frosting, ice cream, chips, soda and pizza, just to name a few items in my grocery cart that fateful day.

As part of my job, I occasionally work with the kind folks in a public health department in the County where I live. These are wonderful people, but to say they eat healthy, would not be doing their employees justice. Sitting in a meeting, I found out it was someone’s birthday and I assumed they had celebrated with cake or cupcakes or some other sweet treat. Only to find out every guest at the office birthday party brought a different quinoa salad. I was a wee bit shocked. These women didn’t even bust out of the health food grove for a coworker’s birthday party.

Imagine my surprise as I wheeled my cart with less than nutritious fare around the aisle, only to see one of the women from my meeting earlier in the week. She didn’t see me, but I saw nothing but vegetables and hummus in her cart. I would have done James Bond proud (if James Bond ever grocery shopped) with how quickly I maneuvered my grocery cart into another aisle to ensure she didn’t see my cart loaded down with every unhealthy item one could conjure up in the grocery store. I’m not sure why I felt the need to hide the unhealthiness in my cart, but I made a beeline for the checkout and then laughed at myself for thinking that this woman would judge me or think less of me because of what I had in my grocery cart.

It made me think how I try hiding things from God – as if the One who created the universe doesn’t already know every fault, misstep, and screw up I have done and will do in the future. Like the woman in the grocery store, I sometimes believe God will think less of me if I truly come clean to Him.

The Bible says, “Can anyone hide from me in a secret place? Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?” says the LORD.” Jeremiah 23:24 (NLT) We can’t hide from God – not physically, emotionally, or spiritually. He is everywhere. Instead of this feeling oppressive, I’ve begun to view it as a comfort. Where can I go or what can I do to be beyond God’s reach? The answer is nowhere. This means God always has my back. If I remember to turn everything over to Him, trust Him, and lean into Him, this is where I feel His love instead of any judgement. Are there things you need to trust God with and know he has your back?

For those of you that know me or for those you that have read my About Me page, you’ve discovered I’ve been divorced and was a single mom for a season. My ex-husband is not well liked by those closest to me. If you’ve been through divorce, (I’m sorry if you’ve gone through it; it was one of the most heart wrenching things I’ve ever experienced), you know those around you have a tendency to choose sides, pick up their torches and pitchforks to defend the person they’re aligning with when battle lines are drawn. Over the years since my divorce and even while I was still married to my first husband, friends and family would ask, “Why did you marry him in the first place?”

I used to answer, “because I was young and stupid.” Realizing this is not a very positive response, I then changed it to “young and naive.” It still wasn’t the best response, but it was what came to mind at the time.

A new answer started to roll around in my head as I was out running last week. Somewhere after the first mile, I was struck by the idea of Beauty and the Beast. While it is a great story, with some amazing songs that get stuck in your head thanks to the creative people at Disney, it creates an illusion in girls that we can domesticate the beast of a friend, boyfriend or husband on our own.

This is my best answer as to why I decided to date and marry my ex-husband. I thought I could tame the beast inside him. I naively thought I could be the answer to all his hurt and pain from his past. Essentially, I gave myself the job of the Holy Spirit. I thought I could be the light in his darkness, the ointment to his wounds and fix him if I prayed hard enough on his behalf.

See, he wasn’t a Christian. To be perfectly candid, when we started dating, Christ was not the center of my life. He was barely a blip on my spiritual radar. When I was drawn back to God after a few years of marriage, my ex husband, did not like the change in me, to put it mildly. My home became the front lines of a spiritual battle ground and all the while, I thought I could love the Holy Spirit into him. Instead, I saw a person who grew to hate everything I now stood for in life. I realized it took more courage to walk away to protect my kids, then it did to stay with him.

For years, I felt as if I failed at my marriage. The picture perfect life I had in my mind had gone up in flames and the only thing left were ashes, which is exactly what God can work with.

Isaiah 61: 1-3 states, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” (NIV)

The real beauty in life comes from God and God replaces the ashes we make of our lives with His beauty. However, I would be remiss in only classifying my ex husband as a beast. See, I realized as I was nearing the end of my run, we all have a beast living inside of us. It could be on full display for everyone to witness or it could be held deep inside of us that we can’t let out because people would be appalled at what our secrets hold.

This is the true job of the Holy Spirit; to wash us clean of all the past, present and future sins in our life as long as we say we’re sorry to God with a truly repentant heart. God is the only one that can take the beast inside, sign an eviction notice, and make us into the beauty He created us to be. Would you turn your beast over to God and see the beauty He replaces it with?

Every parent knows the feeling of stepping on that stray Lego that either our kids or the vacuum missed. For me, it normally occurs around three in the morning when I’m rushing to take care of an upset kiddo from either sickness which makes me move even faster so I don’t have to clean it off the floor or a nightmare where I take it a little slower to see if they will calm down on their own.

Notoriously, I’ll step on a Lego just as I’m reaching one of my kiddos in the dark. So, instead of focusing on their needs, I’m hopping around on one foot nursing my Lego injury. Here’s my secret weapon though, if I step on stuff, if it’s absolutely necessary, I try to do it with my right foot.

See after multiple spine surgeries, my right foot is numb. I can step on things or stub my toe and not even feel it. So those Legos at 3 am aren’t as painful because I’m immune to them on my right side. This made me wonder, have I become immune to the poking of God?

Like the Israelite’s of the Old Testament, am I guilty of forgetting all that God has delivered me from? Am I numb to the impact God has had on my life? The short answer is yes. There are days when I think, “I got this, no need to involve God, here. He’s busy with more important things, right?” And this is normally where everything hits the proverbial fan so to speak.

According to Deuteronomy 4:9, “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” (NIV)

To remind myself of God’s work in my life, I look back on my prayer journal. I also recently started to keep an answered prayer journal to remind myself God answers my littlest and biggest prayers. While, I might not want to make my answered prayer journal known to my children and their children, like the Bible verse says, it does remind me that God is there and I need to remind myself as well as my children He will answer our prayers, but not always in the way we want Him to. Actually, in my case it’s been rarely in the way I want Him to. He does, however, want to be part of every detail in my life.

I need to listen for His still, small voice that whispers to me in the quiet after I’ve gotten the kids back to bed and the adrenaline is still wearing off, so I don’t become numb to Him. Are there areas in your life where you’ve become numb to God? Join me in turning them back over to God and surrendering them at His feet.