There is no such thing as perfect. These are difficult words for me to digest. I struggle with perfectionism. My husband reminds me on a regular basis there is only one perfect person to walk this earth and it’s not me. If there is a situation which doesn’t go the way I planned, blame myself. This has led to a life of regrets and bone crushing thoughts of responsibility for the outcomes I’ve created. However, this isn’t God’s plan for my life.
What if I looked at my regrets, my mistakes, another way? What if everything in my life is working towards God’s plan? It’s not all up to me but up to God? What if each imperfection is leading me to a closer relationship with God? To trust Him more?
To build this trust, it means getting peaceful with my imperfections. Oh, how I struggle with this. I started to ask myself a few questions to work through my perfection gene. How can I get peaceful with my imperfections? Is there some way I can let go of my perfection gene? Am I striving to be perfect to show I don’t need a Savior? This last question reached the heart of my struggle because at the core of my perfectionism is pride.
Pride can mean positive things such as the pride I felt last week at my daughter’s band concert or at my son’s soccer game where they braved below normal temperatures and freezing rain which turned into a sideways snow storm all without complaint.
Then there is the pride which can eat me alive from the inside out. Don’t take my word for it, the Bible is chock full of verse about the dangers of pride. Crack open the book of Proverbs and we’re assaulted with how pride brings destruction in our lives. In Proverbs 11:2 (ESV), it states, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom,” and in Proverbs 16:18 (ESV) it says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Another verse is Proverbs 16:5 (NLT) which says, “The Lord detests the proud; they will surely be punished,” and finally, Proverbs 20:23 (NLT), states, “Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.”
There are even more verses in Proverbs and throughout the Bible on pride, which leads me to believe God knew we would have a problem in this area. What are some ways I can keep pride from taking over my life? Here are four suggestions:
Be humble.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines humble as, “not proud or haughty: not arrogant or assertive.” Even in this definition I see my faults reflected back to me. See, I’m assertive, probably to the point of being annoying. I’ve attend many events at school where my child is standing in the back patiently waiting their turn to speak with a teacher or have a turn at some game, only to see other kids push in front of them. My assertive self and mama bear personality wants to go put the pushing kids back in their places. But when I take a step back, I see my kids putting others before themselves and going with the flow. To them it’s not a big deal to have a fellow classmate, who may have other places to go or other needs ahead of their own. I could learn a thing or two about humility from my kids.
The second definition listed in Merriam-Webster Dictionary for humble is, “reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission,” which leads me to the next suggestion.
Be submissive.
This is hard. Let me say that again, THIS. IS. HARD. The Bible calls us to be submissive to both good and bad leadership. In 1 Peter 2:18 (NLT), it says, “You who are slaves must submit to your masters with all respect. Do what they tell you—not only if they are kind and reasonable, but even if they are cruel.” The world tells us to do our own thing and if we don’t like it or if those in authority don’t like it, we need to stage a protest in our lives. I’m not saying protest doesn’t have it’s place. The life Jesus lived on this earth was a protest. He challenged authority, but he did it humbly and ultimately submitted to the cross even though He asked it to be taken away from Him. I ask God to take away the struggles in my life, but ultimately, I need to submit my will to His and be submissive to His plan and correction, which leads to the next suggestion.
Be open to correction.
Going back to the book of Proverbs, specifically verse 12:1 (NIV), it states, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.” Ouch. In the words of my six year old, “We don’t say stupid.” Well, God does call those of us who hate correction, stupid. Once again, ouch. The last thing I want to be in stupid. I need to take what someone is telling me and then decipher what is the truth by taking it to God for clarity in a situation. Then be grateful for the correction offered. This leads into the next suggestion.
Be grateful.
In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV) we are call to, “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I don’t know about you, but when I’m running late to work because a kiddo can’t find their shoe, forgot a snack in their backpack or needed a permission slip signed at the last minute along with a check for the upcoming field trip, I am anything but grateful in the moment. Sometimes I stare at my children in utter disbelief as they each have something critical to share at 7:29 am when we should be walking out the door in one minute. It’s not until later in the day, when I realize how fortunate I am to have three young ones all clamoring for my attention, when I know people who would gladly trade places with me. When I become thankful and change my focus to God, my attitude changes and I’m learning to let go and let God. I’m still working on this lesson because when I dropped my lunch getting it out of the refrigerator at work last Friday, I wasn’t very thankful. I’m a work in progress, but I’m getting more peaceful with my imperfections.
How do you handle your imperfections? Share it in the comments below to help others and so we can encourage you.