What is it about the holidays that makes me crazy? Or frustrated? Or, dare I say it, angry? I feel all these emotions and then some even though I claim this is my favorite time of the year. The perfectionist in me puts pressure on myself to make sure everyone else is having fun and the holidays are living up to their expectations.
For me, it’s not so much about the perfect outdoor light display or the perfect tree with the ornaments perfectly placed and spaced, but are those around me having a good time? This week and this past weekend, my family would respond with a resounding “No!”
This week was go time in for the holiday festivities. Our family had three concerts at school, one for each grade, school sports and I had a three plus hour hearing being televised on the local public access channel, which went later into the evening than I had anticipated so I missed the sporting event and I almost missed one of the concerts because I was so focused on getting through this week. All on my own. Without asking for help.
This weekend was supposed to be practice for the Christmas pageant at church for my youngest. If you didn’t show up to the practice on early Saturday morning, there was no performance in your future. Understandably so…the last thing we need is for some kiddo running off stage in tears because they don’t know their lines. (Not like I’ve ever experienced this before or anything.)
The dilemma was that it snowed buckets on Friday night. Assuming the show must go on, my husband diligently got up, pulled the snowblower out for the first time this season and made it possible for my youngest and myself to get out of the driveway to make the trek to church.
The problem? I arrived at church with one minute to spare and the parking lot was empty. I did what any modern mother would do and checked Facebook to see if I had missed a post about a delayed start or something, anything to give me direction as to where all the other little angels in the pageant were. Nothing, nada, radio silence. I attempted to call my husband but he couldn’t hear his phone over the continued snow blowing occurring at home.
My frustration mounted as I saw each minute tick by on the clock in my car. After waiting for ten minutes, I headed for home, deciding maybe we should call the whole thing off. Not only our participation in the annual Christmas pageant, but the whole holiday. I was tired. Tired of the juggling, the logistics of having people where they needed to be and figuring out how to get everyone fed in between the commitments of the holidays. It became too much and I hit a wall when we arrived home. My son played in the newly fallen snow until he said he couldn’t feel his feet or fingers anymore. He seemed no worse for the wear that his participation in the pageant wasn’t happening this year. (I never did find out if practice was cancelled or moved.)
Instead of seeing the joy in my son’s face at getting to play in the snow, I felt like a failure. I had worked hard this past week to make everything happen the way it needed to, but I couldn’t cross the goal line with the last “To Do” item.
I realized after binge watching romantic comedies on Netflix and eating almost nothing healthy for the rest of Saturday, this is not what the holidays are supposed to be about. I’d lost my focus. My focus was supposed to be on God and the meaning of the season, not about how many events I could check off that my kids need to be in, but how this holiday is supposed to be about the gift we’ve all been given by the birth our our Savior. I focused on all the wrong things. So how can I get God back in focus? Here are a few steps I took:
1. I came back to God. The Bible says, “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:6 (ESV). Instead of having a hurried quiet time of checking the box that it was done for the day, I sat and was still. Instead of checking my email or text messages as they popped up, once I read my online devotional for the day, I put the phone out of reach and turned off the notifications. If I got stuck or felt like something was going to be too tough to deal with, instead of grabbing my phone to distract myself, I let whatever it was, flow, which leads to the next step.
2. Let it flow. Whether I’m swimming upstream or I’m building a dam, I have a tendency to stop the flow in my life. In Proverbs 16:9 (NLT) it says, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” The Bible has promised God will guide our steps, we need to turn to Him and go with the flow, which leads to the next step.
3. Trust Him. In Acts 27:25 (NLT), we hear the promise, “So take courage! For I believe God. It will be just as he said” I’m not sure why it’s so hard for me to learn to trust God. But it’s one I continually struggle with and grow from. If I need wisdom, guidance or direction, all I need to do it ask and it will be given to me. It’s about keeping it simple, which is the next step.
4. Keep it simple. I felt overloaded this week. Most of it couldn’t be helped because the concerts were required for school grades and my hearing on television was required for my job, but I could have handled it differently. I could have kept it simple and realized, this was not the week for home cooked meals and convenience was key. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 1:12 (ESV) “For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you.” I need to keep things simple and I could have asked for help which leads to the final step.
5. Ask for help. We are all busy this time of year and if friends or family offer to help, take it! However, the help I’m referring to is from above. In Psalm 121:2 (NIV) it says, “My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” God doesn’t want to see us stressed out or frantic, He wants to provide help and reassurance. In the past, most recently, a few minutes ago, I’ve asked God for energy to accomplish all I believe He’s called me to do and He answered by giving me the energy and words for this blog post.
I’m learning to stop making the holidays about something it’s not and start making it about keeping God in focus. Will you join me? Share in the comments how you keep the focus on God during the holidays.