Over the course of the last month, we’ve been talking about getting around to doing rather than doubting. What happens if you have everything knocked out, we’re all set to go and our heart isn’t into the task?
This is more than I don’t feel like it. This is more than being tired and needing rest to fill our souls.
I’m talking about when a heart is wounded from past failures or hurts we didn’t deserve or betrayal of those close to us we weren’t expecting. It’s having a heart with a wound so deep it doesn’t seem like it will ever be whole again.
There was a time in my life when I didn’t think my heart would be whole. Ever.
During my divorce the venom and insults coming from the other side felt like I was getting my heartbroken over and over again whenever we had a mediation or court date to negotiate our separation agreement. I couldn’t understand how someone who swore to love, honor, and cherish me 10 years earlier with now tearing apart everything we built together piece-by-piece.
To say my heart was wounded would be an understatement. It felt more like it was being ripped out, stomped on, and then run over a few times. It seems beyond comprehension that my life had come to this point.
Even when we think all hope is lost, God is there, waiting in the wings to pick us up, dust off our heart and provide a word of encouragement to move forward. The Bible promises in Roman 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Often this verse is quoted to us when we’re going through a season of pain or misunderstanding, wondering where God is in the midst of our chaos or trial. When is God going to show us the reason for our heartache?
Unfortunately, it might not become known to us until we arrive in heaven. However, there are times when we can see how a difficult time has grown or shaped us.
In the case of my divorce, in a few months after my year long divorce process was finalized, I met my future husband. Even though my heart was still healing from the bruises of what I thought would be my happily ever after, I met a man who demonstrated the patience and love needed to date my quirky self.
I believe God brought him into my life to show me what a selfless love looks like, to pour into someone else until they are overflowing with emotional support. As amazing as this relationship started out, it was ultimately God who showed me how He alone could heal my heart. He healed my heart through the following two ways.
Friendships: Yes, we have a relationship with God but He also allows people to step in and demonstrate His love to us. During this time of heartbreak, my friendships filled me up and put something back into my life that I didn’t know I was missing – hope. I had tried reading the Psalms, which of course are positive and we see the struggle of David in times of trouble. But, there is something about the strength of a real life friendship to hold our hand as God begins the healing of our hearts. It’s as if He has provided an extension of His heavenly kingdom through the graces provided by friends. Proverbs 18:24 says, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Strangers: Growing up we learned about stranger danger. I even teach this concept to my kids. But, my kids prefer to believe in the motto that there are no strangers only friends they haven’t met yet. My youngest will pretty much tell anyone we meet about his day. He has kept people in line at the grocery store entertained while I unload our cart regaling them with his tales of awesome. I hope his storytelling brings a smile to those around us in the crazy, beeping check out line at the end of their work day.
Instead of stranger danger, God can bring strangers into our lives to heal our hearts.
When I was a single mom, to say money and time were tight would be an understatement. My very sweet friend hired a wonderful woman to clean my house for the day. It was an unexpected treat to have a spotless house, even if the moving boxes still cluttered my living room. When I went to say goodbye and give this woman a giant thank you, she proceed to tell me a few suggested cleaning products and tools I’d need to keep my home shiny and clean. Right in the middle of my note taking, she stopped and asked if I was a writer.
My pencil stopped moving across the page and I asked her, “Why?” I thought she might have seen one of my many journals or even a draft of a book I’d been tinkering with, but I couldn’t think of anything I’d left out for her to see.
She answered me with “God wants you to be writer and you have a gift of writing.”
I almost burst into tears on the spot. See, I had a business for five years writing magazine articles, marketing copy, advertising taglines, and consulting on other people’s copy for marketing.
I knew it wasn’t exactly what God was calling me to do, but it was the scratch to my writer’s itch and it paid my bills. Then, with the swoosh of a judge’s pen and my willingness to turn the business over to my ex husband, my writing business was gone. I thought this was God’s way of saying my writing was done.
It wasn’t my path. I had been hearing the call to writing wrong all these years. The dream of being a writer, being a storyteller was dead. My heart was broken again.
Then God brought a Christian stronger than me into my life to speak words of hope and truth which I’ve clung to in times when I’ve begun to doubt my dream. I had put a period, where God had put a comma.
Sometimes we doubt ourselves or believe those around us are encouraging our dreams out of obligation . So God provides strangers, people with nothing to gain from our encouragement into our lives. This stranger, who I thought was only there to clean my home, instead healed my heart.
I want to encourage you if you hear God asking to use your words of grace and healing on someone else, even if it makes no sense to you, do it.
I’ve had the opportunity to be both on the receiving end and the giving end of kindness with strangers. Most of the time, the giving has been even more rewarding than the receiving. It has allowed me to be a part of hearing someone else’s heart.
How has God healed your heart? Share it in the comments below to encourage others.