Many people, myself included, when asked how they are doing may answer, “The usual, busy, busy, busy, busy.” Or we paste on a happy face and answer, “Everything is great, just perfect.” Neither one of these answers tells the full story of our lives.
The other side of the coin is the person who appears to have it all together. No matter what, their mask isn’t going to crack. I especially use this tactic in my professional life. I’m the person in the office who the boss will turn to for something to get done, correctly, no matter the hours or unrealistic deadlines because I don’t want anyone to see the chink in the armor I wear at the office on a daily basis.
When did I stop being real with people? It feels like I have the “one upsies”. This is not a real word, so grammer police, put away your red pen. It’s a term I coined where sometimes we feel the need to compare our busyness to the person sharing their horrendous schedule or we envy the perfection we see in the other person’s life and want to have our life be the model of perfection. It almost makes us feel better if the other person validates how much we are doing and accomplishing, no matter the cost.
But, what are the costs of “one upsies”? The cost is sacrificing our true selves, the people God created us to be. It’s the feeling of being scattered and frazzled trying to keep up with unrealistic expectations rather than feeling the peace and joy that God intends for us. Romans 15:13 (NIV) states, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
What is the core of wanting to participate in “one upsies”? For me, it’s the comparison game and related to being enough. Am I enough the way I am? The world will tell me over and over again, no, because I need the to improve myself, change myself, I need to make myself better in some way. It has been pounded into me that showing up as I am, with my faults, scars, and baggage I haven’t quite let go of from the past, means I’m not enough. Especially in this time of New Year’s Resolutions or lack thereof, it feels as if no matter what I do, it will not meet the bar of the world because the bar keeps rising. (I’m all for resolutions, in context of God’s will. Read about it here.) So what’s a girl to do?
The Bible says in Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV), “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” I can let go of my baggage, my hurts, my scars because I can strain forward to what God has lying ahead for me.
It’s not about keeping up with the world or even keeping up with those around me. It’s about what God is calling me to do. It’s about what God is calling you to do. We each need to run our own race and not look over our shoulder to feel better about ourselves because someone is falling behind or look ahead and be jealous of the progress someone else has attained. 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (ESV) states, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.”
How do the “one upsies” keep us from finding and fulfilling our God given purpose? We become focused on others, rather than our own unique value. Oh, if we hold onto our unique value that God has blessed us with, we become powerful for the kingdom of heaven.
We are incredibly precious to God. He has a plan for our lives. Let me say it again. He has a plan for our lives that no one, absolutely, no one else can fulfill. You have not missed your calling. God can use us wherever we are at, if we are willing. The key is willingness and having an open heart and mind to the opportunities God has placed before us.
It is a honor and a privilege to find and fulfill our God given desires. These desires become stronger when we seek to serve God. Oh, my dear brothers and sisters, God wants to get a hold of our hearts and do wonderful, grace filled work in us.
Are you striving toward your purpose? What is your biggest challenge? Do you struggle with the “one upsies”? Share it in the comments below so we can encourage each other to continue in our, own unique race.