We come to every relationship with expectations. Sometimes these expectations are fulfilled and other times, we’re completely off base. All of my kids at one point or another approached life with the motto that there are no strangers in the world, only unmet friends. It wasn’t until they became older, this philosophy changed slightly. Although my five-year old still calls everyone his friend, until they do something that makes him feel slighted in some way, shape or form. This slight, however, could be as simple as someone not sharing a cookie with him. He feels confused as to why someone wouldn’t give him a cookie – don’t they love him? If they loved him, he would get the cookie.
What happens when we feel confused in our relationship with God? Why am I not getting my cookie from God so to speak? Recently, I realized, I needed to let go of my expectations of what a relationship with God looks like and started changing the conversation. How did I go about doing this? Read on my friend.
1. Let go of trying to be perfect. If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, this is one of my biggest hurdles to my relationship with God. I had an expectation in my head of what a quiet time, meditating on God’s Word and having a relationship with God should look like. I was trying to fit into a mold of what I’ve seen others do around me. This made my relationship with God difficult and trying, the exact opposite of what it’s supposed to be. This relationship should flow and be weaved into every part of my life. It’s when I try to do it how I think it should be done as opposed to being present with God in my authentic real self, that problems start to arise and God begins to feel distant. When I approach God as my humble, broken self, He shows up to heal me.
2. Allow God to pour love into us. Nothing pleases God more than opening ourselves to Him. Every, single aspect of our lives. He is interested in the big stuff and the little stuff. When I was growing up, my dad would say to me, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” This is in no way an original saying, but as I get older, and draw closer to God, these are truly words of wisdom. I don’t need to sweat the small stuff or the big stuff in life because God has my back. Instead of laying blame at God’s feet, I kneel at the base of the cross and ask God for help, guidance and direction and allow Him to pour his love and light into me as I start my day.
3. Do what works for you and God. While I start most of my days before the sun comes up to be with God, this doesn’t work for everyone. Some people feel closest to God when out in nature and do daily hikes while drawing closer to God. Some people are night owls and have their time of meditation late in the evening when everyone has gone to bed. Some people have their quiet time over a lunch hour to refresh their day at a difficult job. The point is, God is not a one size fits all kind of God. If He was, the world would all be the same and we would all have the same views, which in most assuredly not the case. God is creative. Thinking He would communicate with us in only one way seems to put limits on an infinitely powerful God.
4. Stop glossing over the relationship. As part of my quiet time, what works for me and God, is to journal my prayers. At last count, I’ve finished off 11 journals on my bookshelf. Completely filled, cover to cover, with my pleadings and praising to God. In most of these journals, the conversation has been one-sided. Not exactly the sign of a healthy relationship. God wants to have a deep, meaningful, authentic relationship with us. This will only happen if we stop and listen. So, while I still pour out my heart to God in the pages of my journals, everyday, I leave at least one page open to what I hear from God and write it down. I ask God to allow me to hear His voice. I’ll tell you, the first couple times I did this it was weird and awkward, plus I began to question whether I was hearing from God or not. Here’s a great way to figure out if we’re hearing from God, test it against what the Bible says. If you’re not familiar with the Bible, Google what you hear and stick the word Bible somewhere in the description. This is a quick way to determine if the conversation we’re having with God is lining up with His Word. I typed in “Bible verses on a relationship with God” into Google and over 1.1 million entries were returned in seconds. If we’re going old school, use the topic index in the back of the Bible.
Changing the conversation with God is about us, not Him. The Bible says, in John 15:5, (ESV) “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” We are uniquely created and the way He communicates His love and message will be different for us all, we, however, need to slow down and listen. A challenge in the fast paced world, but so critical to our spiritual nourishment and our relationship with God. I want to encourage you to stop and listen to what God wants to pour into your life.
Do you have a unique way of approaching your relationship and conversations with God? Share your thoughts in the comment section below so others can be encouraged.