For about two weeks, I was able to pretend to be a stay at home mom, but not really. Yes, my dear readers, I’ve had yet another surgery. This time on my shoulder. Not as bad as the spinal fusion, but it’s not a walk in the park either. I’m thankfully on the mend and healing faster than the doctor had anticipated. Once again, I’m defying the doctors.
During my second week of recovery I was going a little stir crazy in my house being hooked up to a Game Ready ice machine 24/7 so I began walking my kids to their swim lessons and after school sports. The beauty of living in the center of a small mountain town is I can walk to almost everything without neglecting my pain management schedule. I actually couldn’t drive because of my sling, so it worked out great to get some slow steps in and watch my kiddos do what they do so well.
I became amazed in a short period of time, that there is a whole culture out there of stay at home moms who orchestrate their kids schedules that would make some military organizations jealous. I’d witness the same mom dropping one kiddo off at swim lessons, then move another kiddo to gymnastics and them switch them around in 30 minutes to an hour later. She would pull out the organic crackers and applesauce for a snack while helping with homework and all looking fabulous in yoga pants. This glimpse into the world of stay at home moms became fascinating to me because I’ve never been a stay at home mom, I’ve only pretended, mostly during some sort of medical leave.
In the interest of full disclosure, I had a consulting business for five years and worked at home after my daughter was born. This is not the same thing as being a stay at home mom and anyone who tells you differently is delusional at best, but I digress. Moving on…
I began to ask myself, “Do I want to be one of the moms in yoga pants looking amazing while sitting on the side of the pool cheering the swim team on? Could I be a mom in yoga pants?” I’m honestly not sure if I could hack being a stay at home mom.
I want to be clear that this post has nothing to do with working moms against stay at home moms. Each person makes their own choice for what’s best for their situation and where we believe God is calling them.
In my 20’s all I wanted was to continue climbing the corporate ladder, so to speak. A child was not really in the equation, let alone three kiddos. I wasn’t one to babysit and I was the baby of my family therefore I had no experience taking care of those who came behind me.
Then my 30th birthday approached and I felt the tug of motherhood. The moment I found out I was expecting, my priorities started to shift. I wanted to create a home for my daughter. One where I could be there for her, instead of in meetings until 9 pm at night. I felt God calling me to start a business. Being married to a non-Christian at the time, he thought I’d lost my mind. I’m a women with a Master’s Degree and I wanted to work from home. It seems weird now, but working a business out of your house was almost unheard of 15 years ago, now it seems one of the norms in small business or consulting. A laptop and a coffee shop means you’re in business.
The point of this business was to allow more time with my daughter and still be the mom in yoga pants taking her kids to the park, swim lessons, soccer practice and everything else I believed society expected of me. Instead of finding peace and fulfillment in this scenario, I found havoc and heartache. There are moms out there able to navigate this identity crisis after their first child is born, I found out I wasn’t one of them. Or I couldn’t navigate it easily.
See, even though my business became successful and won awards, the time I spent with my daughter diminished significantly. The more my company grew, the less time I spent with my family, the whole reason I started the business in the first place. When I do something, I have a tendency to do it at 110% rather than balance it out. This is probably why I keep injuring myself and keep my local orthopedic surgery office busy.
I used to really dislike this about myself. Then I realized I was putting my 110% effort in the wrong things. This 100% effort couldn’t be in my job, my business, my calling or even my family. I needed to put this effort towards a relationship with God. Have I mastered this yet? Absolutely not! I see the next bright, shiny opportunity and take my eyes off God’s plan for my life. Or I see others doing what I think I want to do and question the path God has me on at this moment in my life.
This leads me back to the mom in yoga pants. I envied these women looking relaxed around the pool and being the general of their kids’ schedule, but I don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes and if this is what they are called to do or forced to do. I don’t know if they are truly happy or putting on a happy face for their fellow stay at home moms. None of us knows what going on in the lives of others, nor can we fathom the weight another person carries. Instead of envying the moms in yoga pants, I prayed God would reaffirm my path and the journey I’m on with my life.
I need to stop comparing my life to others and be content with where God has me. Easier said than done, I know this first hand. However, I take comfort in the verse, Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” NIV. Even though I stumble and fall in my journey towards where I believe God is calling me, He can use all these things for His purpose. I might not be able to cut it as one of the moms in yoga pants, but I can rest assured that God has called me to only be me. What has called you to be? Share it in the comments below. And if it’s the mom in yoga pants, you rock it girl! I salute you!