Comparison kills our dreams. So stop it.
I could write, “The End” for this post right here. Saying, just stop it is easier said than done.
I know.
I get it.
Been there, done that.
I have the t-shirt.
Comparison is the enemy’s way of sidelining us from the path God wants us to take towards our dreams. The act of comparing ourselves to others creatives a negative whirlwind of damage in our lives.
Here are a few of the things that start to happen when we play the comparison game:
Resenting God: We wonder why God is moving radically in another person’s life. Why isn’t He doing amazing things in our lives? When we start questioning God, the enemy gets a foothold in our spiritual selves create distrust in God.
We question if God is holding out on us.
This is the same lie the enemy used in the Garden of Eden. Why? Because it’s effective. It speaks directly to the desire of not wanting to miss out on anything and coveting what someone else has. Instead of keeping our eyes on the blessings God has put in our path, we start to feel sorry for ourselves, which leads to next destructive tendency.
Pity Party: We throw a huge pity party for ourselves with streamers and balloons. Other people get invited to the party whether they want to or not because we emotionally vomit our resentment about our situation to them.
I know this because I’ve done it.
Repeatedly.
In my life, I find one of two things start to happen. I make the pity party bigger and feel even more resentful because I’ve found people that rally to my cause of feeling sorry for myself or I try to keep up with the other person which leads to my next point.
Running on Empty: We run ourselves ragged trying to catch what the other person has; sometimes to the detriment of our health or our relationships. We look through the carefully crafted window on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or whatever social media platform we follow, we think that’s the life I want.
It looks perfect.
Let me share something with you. Social media is a place for people to put their highlight reels, where we compare our daily grind. I recently read a book where a woman took over thirty selfies to get the one “spontaneous” shot for Instagram. Thirty different attempts to look perfect. It’s exhausting to even think about.
So what are we to do to stop comparing ourselves to others? Here are a few suggestions:
Trust God: Instead of resenting God for what we perceive as Him holding out on us, trust that He is giving us what we need. I admit, this has been an area of growth for me. I see other blogs or writers that have started after me, see success quicker and yes, I’m generally happy for them. But I wonder, “God, when is my time for success going to come?”
Instead of heading down the path toward a full blown pity party, I pray for God to give me patience and grow my trust in Him. This trust includes walking down the path He has uniquely crafted for me. He has a unique path for you too. We just need to say yes to the adventure.
Giving Gratitude: The enemy of the pity party is gratitude. When I start to feel sorry for myself, I take a step back and look at all that God has blessed me with. He has given me an amazing husband who puts up with my level of crazy, three beautiful, healthy children, a home in the mountains of Colorado, and a platform to share my writing. These are a few that come to mind right now. When we change our perspective to one of gratitude, we can be thankful even in the trials because we know God has a plan.
Give It Up: The pressure to look like we are keeping up with our friends can be overwhelming. I get it. But I ask myself, why does it matter? What makes me think I need to keep up with someone from my past that I haven’t seen in 15 years because I see them having fun on Facebook?
It’s because I’ve taken my eyes off the One who provides everything I need. When I keep my focus on God and give up what I don’t need or what could steal my joy, I’m able to be content with what I have which eliminates the need to compare myself to others.
Do you compare yourself against others? How do you combat comparison that kills? Share it in the comments below to encourage others.